Thoughts on "Social Claustrophobia"

I have always been fairly successful in life. I can attribute a large amount of my success to my genuine sense of self loathing and numerous neuroses forged in the fires of my upbringing.

"Dan should be doing more work while having his
panic attack. Can't he multitask?"~Japan



In healthy doses, a self deprecating attitude and mild belief that others stand in judgment of you and your efforts is a strong motivator. However, I live in a country where the social pressure to conform and succeed is palpable.

I watch my Japanese counterparts go about their day seemingly unfazed by the overwhelming societal expectations and burdens placed upon them. This situation reminds me of Plato’s Cave (later adapted for the modern age in the Matrix). The Japanese were born and raised into this system and therefore this is the reality they know. I was raised in a less oppressive society (from my point of view). Thus, I more acutely feel the verdicts of inadequacy directed at me. This tends to result in exceptionally high levels of self consciousness.

Paranoid? Perhaps. My being judged by coworkers? Undisputed fact.

This pressure to conform and appear productive often makes me feel confined and limited. While I am sure there is a specific term for what afflicts me, I, for lack of a proper degree to know such matters, have coined the term “social claustrophobia”.