Thoughts on Complacency (aka Thoughts from an Existential Breakdown Part I)

A man named Dante once contemplated the meaning of life and death while also pondering the nature of Hell. He also enlightened the masses as to why Empire Strikes Back was superior to Return of the Jedi. Granted, his musings on life and death tended to take the form of discussing collateral damage and casualties during the destruction of the Death Stars. But his seemingly pointless back and forth with his friend often resulted in profound statements about reality and, for the purposes of this entry, my life.

For Dante, Hell was the familiarity, simplicity and, ultimately, the complacency he had developed while working at his unfulfilling, underpaid, and unappreciated life as a convenience store clerk (if you have not seen the Clerks films I demand you stop reading this nonsense, obtain them via legal means and watch them immediately). Dante's frustration culminates in the occasional desperate cry of, "I'm not even supposed to be here".

I am a sentimental person by nature, yet I don't look to the west for comfort nor do I feel significant longing for days gone by in America (time at university excluded).  So, as my second year in the land of the rising radiation levels comes to a close, I grow increasingly concerned with my own complacency. Japan has become far too easy and comfortable. Often, when I think of home I think of this little box of an apartment or floating around the city.From this arises the concern that I have lost the motivation, drive and, ultimately, willpower to return to America.

Here, I am underpaid, undervalued and, thanks to the devaluation of the bachelors degree/supersaturation of college graduates in the last 20-40 years, most likely less than qualified for much (political scientist willing to describe the faults in your national politics for food). However, unlike Dante who everyday lamented his Hell of complacency, I often find it hard to grieve or be overly mortified by my current station in life. This point raises an interesting question. Can it truly be considered Hell if you are enjoying the experience? The answer is "no".

Despite my now wavering will to return, I do fear that I will wake one day to find myself in a cramped Japanese apartment, working for scraps, decades older with no way of retiring, jaded, having lost the satisfaction of working with my kids, and never having provided any true value to society (can you tell I wrote this after a company meeting where 30-40% of the foreigners fit into the above category?).

Dan　
暖

Thoughts on Cleaning Time

"We've gathered all the corrupt businesses,
 staggering governmental inefficiency, and 
          that annoying glass ceiling.
 Let's sweep them to that corner and go play
                  some dodge ball!"

“Will Jose from Class Act please report to the principal’s office?” In high school, we heard this announcement so often that it served to promote Jose to semi-celebrity status. So salient was “Jose from Class Act” that he was often a serious contender for most student body positions. Of course, being a 40+ year old man of questionable legal standing he was ineligible to assume a prestigious position on the student council.

Jose was the leader of a small army of cleaners who diligently worked to keep my school as clean as possible. Often working deep into the night, this squad toiled exceptionally hard and received little to none of the gratitude they rightfully earned. Coming from a background where someone else cleans up my messes, I was pleasantly surprised to find that in Japanese schools the students and staff are responsible for much of the cleaning and upkeep on the school grounds.

In concept, I adore the idea of students being in charge of their space. Students taking responsibility for the cleaning the school should, theoretically, instill school pride in the students. However, after a year of watching and participating in this cleaning period, I have come to see it as a bizarre metaphor Japanese society.

Japan is more often than not concerned with form over function. On the surface, the classroom is “cleaned” every day by the unified efforts of the students. The students sweep and run around mopping up grime with their rags. While the room is kept fairly clean, there is a significant amount of filth which is merely pushed to the outskirts and ignored (unless taken care of by a dedicated teacher or ALT as the case may be). The students bask in the kudos of the teachers and all are happy to ignore the literal dirty secret.

Japanese society has a startlingly similar tendency to do the same. In general, she is a wonderful country. Japan is a modern and respected nation due in no small part to her hard working populace. However, pushed to the outskirts are things with which the Japanese people really do not wish to cope. Problems such as poverty, an expanding incidence of disease (both physical and mental), and the remnant bits of patriarchal/chauvinistic behavior in her populace are largely ignored.

Of course, I acknowledge that most countries ignore their respective societal issues (as Hurricane Katrina demonstrated in the United States). However, I think the parallels between cleaning time in schools and Japanese society in particular is especially interesting. Also, I am far too lazy to turn this analogy into a larger humanitarian/global societal critique.

Thoughts on "Social Claustrophobia"

I have always been fairly successful in life. I can attribute a large amount of my success to my genuine sense of self loathing and numerous neuroses forged in the fires of my upbringing.

"Dan should be doing more work while having his
panic attack. Can't he multitask?"~Japan



In healthy doses, a self deprecating attitude and mild belief that others stand in judgment of you and your efforts is a strong motivator. However, I live in a country where the social pressure to conform and succeed is palpable.

I watch my Japanese counterparts go about their day seemingly unfazed by the overwhelming societal expectations and burdens placed upon them. This situation reminds me of Plato’s Cave (later adapted for the modern age in the Matrix). The Japanese were born and raised into this system and therefore this is the reality they know. I was raised in a less oppressive society (from my point of view). Thus, I more acutely feel the verdicts of inadequacy directed at me. This tends to result in exceptionally high levels of self consciousness.

Paranoid? Perhaps. My being judged by coworkers? Undisputed fact.

This pressure to conform and appear productive often makes me feel confined and limited. While I am sure there is a specific term for what afflicts me, I, for lack of a proper degree to know such matters, have coined the term “social claustrophobia”.



Thoughts on Reflex Reporting

To any who may be reading,

I am writing this in an attempt to alleviate some of the anxiety caused by the media. In general, the almost instant access to information has resulted in news reports which, I feel, are less concerned with deliberate reporting of facts and more concerned with ratings and shock value.

My objective is NOT to criticize news media as a whole. Most sources are attempting to present the facts in a timely manner during a chaotic time. To paraphrase John Stewart, "during times of crisis the news media are exceptional at reporting facts and keeping the people informed". However, the hints of panic inducing phrases and keywords (out of context) without considering the full implications of their effect on an emotional populace is frustrating to those of us in the midst of the disaster searching for objective facts and updates about the developing situation. We have enough troubles coping with the situation in country without news sources inciting our families to panic.

Let me stress that despite being only mildly concerned about the safety of myself and my loved ones in the area (Tokyo, Kanagawa, Tochigi, and Ibaraki), the situation is bad. I will admit to having created an evacuation plan in the event the situation develops less favorably than I would prefer.

With that said, the news media have been fond of comparing the developing situation at the reactors with Chernobyl. Often, the phrase "the worst nuclear disaster since Chernobyl" has been written. While the word "science" is contained in the title of my major (political science), I am in no way qualified to make in-depth analysis of the current situation at the reactors. However, from the more level headed reports I have read regarding the issue, it appears that we are far from the the threat level presented at Chernobyl.

"But Dan, this is a crisis involving a nuclear reactor. Does that not inherently make the analogy to Chernobyl apropos?"

I do not mind comparisons to Chernobyl being made. However, the media is not providing a context for such a comparison. Let me provide a crude example of how I view the majority of comparisons to Chernobyl.

Imagine a perfect town with no war and no crime (Disney World). The people go about their lives living in harmony. One day, a man is murdered. The event is tragic and rocks the community. However, over time the town returns to normal and the peaceful crime free community returns.

Now, if I say to you, "one day, another crime was committed . . . the worst crime since the murder." To me, the natural reaction would be to assume the crime was either another murder, or a crime involving some type of bodily harm to the victim.  What if I told you that the crime was merely a purse snatching? Theoretically, this would be the worst crime since Chernobyl since no other crimes occurred in the interval.

The difference lay in where your mind instinctively went when I made vague statements regarding the severity of the crime. Without context, you most likely assumed the worst. In context, you understood that something bad happened, but were better able to understand the need not to panic. This is what I believe the news media is forgetting. There are legitimate reasons to compare this and Chernobyl. But there is also a need to contextualize the comparison with facts so the masses can, at least vaguely, understand the levels of difference between the two situations. Granted, my analogy is not perfect, but it illustrates one level of frustration experienced by foreigners still in Japan .

 I am also hesitant to compare a crisis involving the health and lives of so many with a simple purse snatching. But an explanation regarding the differences in the presentation of information abroad vis-a-vis the manner information is being presented to us in country needed to be said.

News media are also using stories to almost deliberately encourage a state of fear among those not in Japan. News stories with titles claiming that the crisis with the Japanese reactors is no threat to America . . . "for now" border on  fear mongering.

One of the above locations is a dance club.

Again, I am not saying that we should not be concerned. The situation is one which warrants concern. Dare I say the crisis on a national level (versus only within the immediate area of the reactors) is becoming less encouraging by the day. But I call on friends abroad to find sources of information presenting objective updates on the current situation. I also call on the news media to reflect on how you present your material rather than resorting to sensationalist "reflex reporting" of information.

I apologize for the lack of eloquence in this piece of writing. I would blame any stylistic inadequacies on being in the midst of a crisis, but that would not explain why most of my writing tends to be of such poor quality.

-Dan 暖

Written on March 18, 2011

Dignity during Adversity, Honor during Crisis

Although the nuclear crisis still lingers and aftershocks are frequent, life is slowly returning to normal. Undoubtedly, Japan will be rebuilding and recovering from the tragedies of the past month for quite some time. But, for now the sense of urgency (from those of us outside the truly affected areas) has eased. As the nigh constant knot in my stomach slowly begins to fade, there is something which I think needs to be said. I am honored, not in the cliche' use of "honor" when referring Japan, but truly honored to have been able to stand with and witness the integrity and dignity of my coworkers, students and all Japanese people during this time of uncertainty. Their strength gave me the strength to stay during a noticeable foreigner exodus. I want to thank the Japanese with whom I have been privileged to see and know for demonstrating that underneath all the pettiness, anger, and fear, humanity is still a noble creature with the potential to grow. That fact is something I am far too often wont to dismiss.

Will this be my last word on the matter? In all likelihood, no. But, for now this is enough.  

-Dan　暖

Written March 22, 2011

Thoughts on Idiotic Rationalizations

Every workplace and, indeed, all social gatherings inevitably have a segment of their respective populations consisting of those lacking common sense. Unfortunately, the ALT business is such that, those who are terribly under qualified (not just educationally, but mentally and emotionally) cast a terrible light on the majority of hard working ALTs.But, this post is not a critique of the English language business so much as the telling of a tale about an absurd rationalization which continues to boggle the still functioning parts of my mind.

There we sat, a motley crew of ALTs from several prefectures gathered under the banner of company training. As the floor was opened for general problems and discussions regarding conflict resolution in the workplace, a hand was raised. The volunteer was called up to share with the group the wisdom of her experience.

In the moment following the yielding of the floor to the female speaker, an audible collective sigh of exasperation went up from the veteran members of the company. My newer associates and I would soon understand the reason.

While I cannot clearly remember if her anecdote was truly germane to the overall preceding group discussion, the collectively "feared" ALT began regaling us with a tale of her compassion and understanding toward her more troubled students.

Setting the stage, our narrator informed us of a rather expensive piece of jewelry she brought to school. Leaving the valuable in the teachers' room, she returned from class only to discover it stolen! As any person would do in her situation, she sought help from her fellow teachers. Although the effort had slim to no chance at recovering the artifact, a general attempt at locating the guilty party commenced. Soon afterward, the narrator halted further attempts to recover her stolen item.

Before I continue further, I should state that I can think of two good reasons for halting the search. First, it is disruptive to the other teachers and inconveniencing the school (something which may or may not be frowned upon in Japan). Second, the odds of finding the student after initial efforts proved useless were slim to nil. Better to cut your losses and learn from your mistakes.

However, our narrator refused to be confined by logical explanations. According to her, the impetus to halt the search was out of kindness and understanding toward the guilty student. We all sat in awe as the speaker eagerly mounted her high horse and prepared for an explanation which would bypass logical reasoning.

In somewhat paraphrased words, "whoever took it is clearly a troubled student (not disagreed with by anyone in the room). Once I realized that, I had the other teachers stop looking. I mean, I saw that I could use this as a way of helping the student. I can ALWAYS get a new piece of [expensive] jewelry . But, this was my chance to give the student something they've (sic) never had. It is now my gift for the student and it teaches them (sic) that I care."

Before you read on, take a moment of silence to really think about that thought process. That is what the rest of us felt compelled to do in order to reconcile the fallacies in her logic.

In her own way, our narrator utilized a very common mental defense. She turned herself from a victim to a figure of strength. After all, SHE made the decision to halt the search. More than this, she seized the opportunity to  change herself into the immensely generous and kindhearted teacher who was willing to give all of herself to reach her students. Had she the chance, I do not doubt that she would have claimed that she was a martyr returned from death to teach us all of her saintlike kindness.

However, she seemingly forgot about the glaring problems with her logic. Let's deconstruct her argument shall we?

One of her initial premises was not wholly unfounded. She believed that the guilty student was in some way troubled. I don't disagree. Thievery, even as a childish prank, can be a sign of an underlying emotional problem. Usually, kids outgrow this immaturity in short order.

Where our noble narrator's reasoning begins to fail is in the belief that her eventual halting of the search was a selfless action. Indeed she wholeheartedly believed that once the search was voluntarily stopped, the stolen property was no longer stolen. It instead magically transformed into a gift given to the student. In general, for something to be truly a gift, doesn't the receiving party need to be at least vaguely aware that the object was GIVEN with the intention of being a gift? I assume the guilty party, more likely than not, believed that his caper had been successful and the teachers had given up the futile effort of searching.

Our misguided narrator went so far as to claim that she was enriching the thief's life. Not only would the student receive a gracious gift from the English teacher, but also the warm knowledge that the ALT cared.

I argue that instead of enriching the life of the thief, this foreign teacher merely reinforced the notion that there are no consequences for misdeeds. What a terrible lesson to be teaching. The fact that she could and/or would not see the absurdity of her logic frustrated the more rational teachers present at training.